7 years of living alcohol free – yippee!
Seven years ago, my life looked very different. I was tired—not just the kind of tired you feel after a bad night’s sleep, but bone-deep exhaustion. I was emotionally bankrupt, disconnected, and stuck in a cycle I didn’t know how to break. I remember sitting in my local deli, where I’d take myself off for my ‘treat’ as I called it most evenings, staring at an empty glass, wondering how I’d gotten to this place. My mind kept telling me that drinking was my escape, my treat, it coping mechanism, but deep down, I knew it was the anchor pulling me under.
When I decided to stop drinking, I thought sobriety would be a punishment—a sentence I’d have to endure. I never could have imagined that it would become the greatest gift I’d ever give myself. Sobriety didn’t just save my life; it gave me a life worth living. Here are some reflections on these past 7 years, focusing on the lessons I’ve learned and the surprising benefits I’ve discovered along the way.
The Most Surprising Benefits
Let’s start with the surprises—the things I never expected when I first got sober. At the beginning, I thought the biggest change would be avoiding hangovers. I was so wrong. Sobriety transformed my entire life, starting with my physical health. I began waking up with clear skin, boundless energy, sober hair, (who knew) better eyesight, and—get this—actual joy. For years, I’d been chasing happiness at the bottom of a bottle, but it turns out, I was just numbing myself to the good stuff all along. I finally found that emotional wellbeing could be a real thing for me, I found a level of ‘contentment’ that I had thought some people were just very lucky to have naturally, turns out, it could be mine too, and yours, but you need to remove the toxic poison to access it.
Even more surprising was how sobriety reignited passions I’d long forgotten. I started exploring hobbies I’d forgotten and finding pleasure in new experiences. Suddenly, the world seemed bigger, brighter, and full of possibilities. I also became a bit more responsible, I finally dealt with the stuff I’d been putting off for years, so a few years ago my teeth got sorted out, God that was an ordeal, but it would have been even worse if I’d simply carried on being in denial about it.
And then there were the relationships. I used to think drinking made me more fun, more connected, but in reality, it kept me isolated. Sobriety gave me the ability to show up fully for the people I care about—to be present, to really listen. It mot definitely made me a better mum, I just so wish I’d done it when the kids were younger.
Learning to Like Yourself
Sobriety isn’t just about quitting alcohol; it’s about learning to like yourself again. For me, that was one of the hardest and most rewarding parts of the journey. When you strip away the substances, you’re left with yourself—raw, unfiltered, and real. And let me tell you, that can be scary. At first, all I could see were the flaws, the mistakes, the guilt. I felt SUCH shame in the early months, and I was really quite unsure who I was.
But over time, something incredible started to happen. I began to forgive myself. I realized that I wasn’t defined by my worst moments. Slowly but surely, I started treating myself with the same kindness I’d offer a friend. Therapy helped. So did journaling and mindfulness. I stopped criticizing myself for every little misstep and started celebrating the small wins.
The voice in my head—the one that used to be my harshest critic—became softer, more encouraging. Sobriety gave me clarity, and with that clarity came the realization that I was worth the work. For the first time in years, I felt like I deserved happiness. One of the most surreal moments came about a year into sobriety. I looked in the mirror and, for the first time in years, felt proud of the person staring back at me. That’s a kind of victory I never saw coming.
Building Resilience
Here’s the thing: life doesn’t magically get easier when you get sober. Challenges still come your way. But what sobriety gives you is the strength to face those challenges head-on. Before, I used alcohol to avoid discomfort. Stressful day at work? Drink. Argument with a loved one? Drink. Feeling sad or anxious? Drink.
When I got sober, I had to learn how to sit with those feelings. And it wasn’t easy. But over time, I discovered something powerful: I was more resilient than I’d ever given myself credit for. Without alcohol clouding my mind, I could actually process my emotions and deal with them in a healthy way. We do have to ‘feel all the feels’
There have been moments that have tested me greatly—I’ve lost loved ones, my ex boyfriend died suddenly, my mum was seriously ill for a long time and died 2 years ago, Steve Wright my boss and friend for 24 years died last Feb, I’ve found myself, navigating tough conversations, facing rejection. My career as a radio presenter came to an abrupt end, it was tough. Lots of personal stuff has happened in my family. In the past, I would have run from those experiences. But sobriety taught me to lean in, to trust myself, and to keep moving forward even when things got hard. And every time I did, I grew a little stronger.
Setting Boundaries and Finding Freedom
One of the most transformative lessons I’ve learned in sobriety is the power of boundaries. Before I quit drinking, I was a chronic people-pleaser. I’d say yes to anything and everything, often at the expense of my own well-being. Sobriety forced me to take a hard look at the relationships in my life—the healthy ones and the toxic ones.
It gave me the courage to set boundaries, I used to think only mean people set them! I learnt to say no when I needed to, and to protect my energy. At first, this felt selfish, but I soon realized it was essential. I’d spent so much of my life trying to earn approval from others that I’d forgotten to value myself. I still hate it when people don’t like me, but hey I can get over it! The title of my memoir has a double meaning From Wham to woo – a life on the mic, the Wham bit is my days as a backing singer etc, but the Woo? – well the woo is the spirituality that you know and love me for, but woo also stands for (according to Clifton strengths one of those personality testing thingy’s’) – ‘Winnng Others Over’, that’s what I love doing, trying to encourage everyone to think how I do, of course it doesn’t always work!
Sobriety also brought me a newfound sense of freedom. It’s funny, because before I quit, I thought drinking made me free—free to relax, to have fun, to let loose. But in reality, it was a trap. True freedom came when I let go of the need to escape and started living fully in the present.
Community and Connection
One of the most beautiful gifts of sobriety has been the sense of connection it’s brought into my life. At first, I thought I had to do it alone. I was scared to reach out, to admit I needed support. But when I finally did, I discovered a community of people who understood exactly what I was going through. When I did my TEDx talk I realised there were so many people just like, me they weren’t at rock bottom, they wouldn’t dream of going near a doctor or an AA meeting but they were interested in wellbeing and getting free from the alcohol trap
Sobriety showed me the power of vulnerability. When you open up and let others in, you realize you’re not alone. That’s why I started The Sober Club, and I LOVE the community, it gives me so much joy to see how people flourish and grow – to see the changes in them, some of our members are day one, others have been sober for years, it’s a huge portal of wellbeing content, regular online meet ups, our very supportive facebook group and an online course – community is key, we really are cheerleaders for each other
Rediscovering Joy in the Everyday
Sobriety didn’t just bring big changes; it also helped me find joy in the small, everyday moments. Things I used to overlook—the taste of a great cup of coffee, the feeling of sunshine on my skin, the sound of my favourite song—suddenly felt magical. Without alcohol dulling my senses, I could fully experience and appreciate life’s simple pleasures.
These moments became the foundation of my happiness. They reminded me that I didn’t need to chase excitement or escape reality to feel fulfilled. Joy was always there, waiting for me to notice it. I found Gratitude.
Discovering Purpose and Growth
Sobriety also gave me the clarity to ask bigger questions: Who am I? What do I want out of life? For years, alcohol had been a distraction, keeping me from exploring my true potential. But once I got sober, I had the mental and emotional space to dig deep.
I started setting goals, taking risks, and pursuing dreams I’d put on hold. I discovered a sense of purpose that gave my life new meaning. Sobriety didn’t just change what I did; it changed how I saw myself and my place in the world. And that’s a gift I’ll never take for granted.
When I knew my radio career was coming to an end, it really was the end of an era, but I had other stuff going on, and thankfully my Alcohol Free life podcast, and my UK health radio show have gone some way to keeping my ‘on the mic’ addiction, and of course I’m into the 3rd year of training people to be sober coaches, and that’s just incredible, I get so much from seeing the transformation in people, who have so much personal growth and they are stepping into a new identity and a rewarding career supporting others
Gratitude and Reflection
So as I reflect on these past seven years, schmaltzy as it sounds, I’m filled with gratitude. Sobriety wasn’t easy to start with, but it’s been worth every struggle, every hard day, every moment of doubt. It’s given me a second chance at life—a life where I’m not just surviving, but thriving.
7 years ago, I couldn’t imagine a life without alcohol. Today, I can’t imagine a life where it has a place. I’m not perfect, and I’m OK with that. Because for the first time, I’m proud of who I am. And that’s more than I ever thought possible.
If you’re on your own journey, know that I’m rooting for you. Here’s to growth, resilience, and the incredible things that can happen when you choose to reclaim your life.
Join us in The Sober Club, for wellbeing content, support, accountability and inspiration
