Since ditching the booze just over 2,400 days ago—almost 6.8 years—I am incredibly proud of my achievements and constantly amazed at the insights gained. The phrase ‘Sobriety is the gift that keeps on giving’ is utterly naff, but it happens to be true.
I’ve done over 250 episodes of the Alcohol-Free Life podcast, with incredible guests. I’ve given two TEDx talks including the popular Sobriety Rocks – Who Knew! , I run the community The Sober Club—a non-judgmental platform for the sober and sober curious who want to focus on wellbeing. I host retreats, have trained and now work as a sobriety wellbeing coach, also training others to become Sober 360 coaches. I’m trained in EFT, NLP, Matrix, and Family Constellations and have written Happy Healthy Sober, a book I’m immensely proud of. It’s a lot, right? I am proud of that stuff, but it didn’t all just happen because I wanted a new career—far from it! Sharing the joy of sobriety has become a new obsession for me, but it wasn’t plain sailing at the beginning.
I wanted to share some of the insights and incredible lessons that have come my way since I embarked on my journey of sobriety. It’s been quite the rollercoaster, filled with twists, turns, and breathtaking views. So, here are some gems of wisdom that I’ve uncovered—some of the stones and hidden treasures along the path:
Insight 1: The early days can be really tough
If you are not clinically dependent, the physical discomfort can ease fairly quickly—I felt a bit headachy for a few days, and sleep was terrible—but above all, it’s the mental anguish. The constant chatter in your brain, that voice telling you, “This is too hard, you can’t do this, what will everyone else think?” It’s all-consuming. I learned to quiet that voice, talk back to the inner critic, and embrace curiosity. It wasn’t easy, but curiosity helped me to move forward, even when I felt fragile and disconnected.
Insight 2: Brain chemistry Is out of whack
When I quit booze, I forgot everything I knew about nutrition and wellbeing, and for a while, I felt sorry for myself. Around week three, I called a nutritionist friend who helped me reset with proper food and supplements. It’s so important to take care of yourself—especially in the early stages. Good nutrition, protein with every meal, and supplements like the Magnesium blend and vitamins D and C can be game changers. I’m now grateful I had to go through it because I’m a much better coach! (Use this link to buy any supplements and you contribute a bit to our Sober Club giveback fund)
Insight 3: Shame can rear its ugly head
Feeling emotional is part of the journey—you have to ‘feel all the feels’—but shame also became a big part of my early experience. I felt embarrassed about my years of drinking. Vulnerability and honesty became my antidotes. Over time, I’ve come to terms with my past and forgiven myself.
Insight 4: Self Forgiveness, and the Power of Taking Responsibility
Forgiving myself was crucial. It took a while, but understanding that addiction wasn’t entirely my fault—society’s normalization of alcohol played a huge role—helped me let go of the shame. Taking Responsibility can be empowering. As the layers of guilt and shame started to peel away, I realized that forgiveness was an ongoing process, but so was taking responsibility. It wasn’t my ‘fault’ I got caught in the alcohol trap, but it was and is, most definitely my responsibility to take back control of the life I want to lead.
Insight 5: Focus on what you’re gaining, NOT giving up
Ditching the booze is not about ‘giving up’ anything. It’s about gaining clarity, joy, and peace of mind. By focusing on what I was gaining, rather than what I was missing out on, I found the resilience to keep moving forward. That flame of hope kept growing stronger with each step I took toward freedom. Years later, I am much more resilient to whatever life throws at me.
Insight 6: Addiction’s Invisible Face
My struggle with alcohol wasn’t visible on the surface. I held everything together—my work, my responsibilities—but underneath, I was battling. No one knew what I was going through because I didn’t share it with anyone. Eventually, I opened up to Clare Pooley, her book The Sober Diaries had been the catalyst for change for me, who gave me the support I needed. Sharing my struggle was a huge turning point.
Insight 7: Empowerment through knowledge
Learning about alcohol and its effects was transformational. The more I understood that alcohol was a toxic, addictive substance with zero benefits, the more empowered I became. Knowledge fueled my determination to stay alcohol-free.
Insight 8: There are many ‘Shades of Grey’
We tend to think there are only two types of drinkers: those who hit rock bottom and those who are perfectly fine. But it’s a spectrum, and there are many shades of grey in between. I learned that I didn’t have to hit rock bottom to choose sobriety, and that realization empowered me. I realised I was, along with so many others a ‘middle lane drinker’, but that didn’t make it ok!
Insight 9: Trusting my Intuition and Sensing Energy
Over time, I’ve become more in tune with my intuition. Alcohol dulled my ability to truly listen to my inner voice, but now I can sense energy and emotions much more clearly. That quiet voice that once nudged me at 3 a.m., reminding me to take care of myself, has grown louder and more persistent. I’ve learned to trust it. Our thoughts shape our reality, and paying attention to them is key to transformation.
Insight 10: Connection is the Opposite of Addiction
As Johann Hari said, the opposite of addiction really is in connecting with others. We are meant to connect. I set up The Sober Club to connect with like minded people, there is support for whatever stage we’re at, and become cheerleaders for each other. I learnt in the early months not to share the tricky stuff with close family, but to reach out to a community where others had been there, done it, and got the T shirt.
Insight 11: Resilience is a Superpower
As the years have passed, I’ve noticed that my resilience has grown. I’ve faced life’s challenges with more courage and strength than I ever thought possible. Sobriety has been the foundation upon which my resilience was built. It’s not that life has become easier, but I’ve become stronger. With each obstacle, I bounce back faster, more focused, and with a clearer sense of purpose.
Insight 12: Energy Flows where Attention Goes
Sobriety has heightened my awareness of the energy I put out into the world and the energy I allow into my life. I’ve learned to protect my peace, choose environments that uplift me, and surround myself with people who inspire me. There’s a certain clarity that comes when you’re sober—the ability to sense the energy of a room, the vibes people give off, and what situations will truly nourish you. I no longer tolerate negativity in my life because I can sense its effects so much more deeply.
Insight 13: Cravings as Emotional Signals and the Fading Affect Bias (FAB)
Cravings are deeper than mere thirst. If I had a ‘craving’ it wasn’t really for toxic liquid; it was for all the associations I had been brainwashed into thinking alcohol created—the confidence, the laughter, the glamour, the fun. Cravings were a yearning for emotional change. I wanted to feel different, but knew I must embrace all emotions. I did experience the fading affect bias, looking back with rose-tinted glasses and thinking, “Oh, wouldn’t it be nice…” But no,The Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes. Going back to drinking wouldn’t solve anything.
Insight 14: Ditching the Booze is the Best Parenting Hack
Feeling all emotions fully became a powerful challenge, especially in my parenting. I was better able to understand my kids’ sensitivities and handle their emotional outbursts because I became more aware of my own. I found more empathy, patience, time, and was a much better role model for my teenagers! One highlight of ditching booze was knowing I was fully present—like when I got a midnight call to pick up my son. I was delighted to jump in the car, enjoying the freedom of sobriety. My only regret is not doing this when my kids were younger.
Insight 15: A New Realization of Joy and Gratitude
The idea that alcohol makes us cheerful is a lie. Alcohol numbs both negative and positive feelings, eventually flattening everything. Sobriety let me rediscover authentic happiness. I became aware of contentment—something I barely recognized. Alcohol had stolen my joy, but sobriety enabled me to find a sense of authenticity and happiness. Practicing gratitude has been key. Even on bad days, writing down what I appreciate helped me refocus.
Insight 16: Prioritizing Self-Care
I learned the hard way that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. I used to think drinking was my self-care, my reward after a long day. Now, I realize it was self-harm. I began to introduce walks in nature, journaling, and taking time for myself. Self-care is about acknowledging our worthiness and nurturing resilience. It’s vital, especially in the early weeks, to focus on getting well again.
Insight 17: Going Within
Taking time for self-care also helped me recognize the importance of going within. Despite working with meditation gurus, I could never meditate because alcohol lowered my vibration. Sitting in silence was uncomfortable because it forced me to confront truths. Now, I meditate, and that shift has been profound. I can finally trust myself to be still.
Insight 18: Finding Creativity, Purpose, and Time
I had no idea how much time I wasted on drinking. It took so much brain space—planning to drink, drinking, recovering from drinking. When you start to feel better, you find more time, which can be dangerous for some. I went back to creative pursuits and hobbies, and some of my clients have done the same. Others find a new sense of purpose and direction. For me, ditching booze has made it clear that my purpose is to spread the message of how fantastic life without alcohol is.
Insight 19: The Best ‘Aging Gracefully’ Secret
Aging used to scare me. I was bloated, my skin looked dull, and I worried about the lines on my face. But since ditching alcohol, I’ve noticed a huge difference. My skin is clearer, my eyes are brighter, and my energy levels have skyrocketed. I feel younger now than I did when I was drinking. The fear of aging has diminished because I feel vibrant and healthy. I’m not interested in Botox or starving myself anymore—being sober is the best anti-aging secret there is. Plus, I’ve learned to love myself more, regardless of how I look.
Insight 20: Kindness is Good for You
I’ve always known that kindness is powerful, but sobriety has allowed me to embody it fully. There’s something about being sober that opens up space for more compassion and connection with others. The sober community is full of kindness—it’s like a support network where everyone is cheering for each other. I’ve learned that acts of kindness aren’t just good for the recipient; they’re great for the person giving them too. Sobriety brings out a kinder, more understanding version of yourself, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Insight 21: It’s More Than Just a Health Fad
At first, I thought going alcohol-free was just another health challenge—like a juice cleanse or going vegan for a month. But now I know that it’s the most important decision I could ever make. Sobriety isn’t just a fleeting wellness trend; it’s a life-altering transformation. It underpins everything. Life gets better every single year, and I love seeing sober heroes and celebrities celebrating their “soberversaries” because it means so much. Reaching 2,400 days sober has allowed me to finally become who I was meant to be, seeing life in all its vibrant, beautiful complexity.
Insight 22: The Power of Saying “No” and Setting Boundaries
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned through sobriety is the ability to say “no” and set boundaries with confidence. Before, alcohol often numbed my awareness of where I needed to draw lines in my life. Now, without the haze of booze, I’m more in tune with my own needs and more comfortable asserting them. I now realise that NO. is a complete sentence! It empowered me to maintain balance, protect my energy, and foster healthier relationships. Sobriety has allowed me to develop the self-respect that comes with setting boundaries and truly honouring myself.
Insight 23: Reconnecting with Nature
I’ve found myself reconnecting with nature in ways I hadn’t done since childhood Instead of sitting in pubs or waking up hungover, I embraced the beauty of the outdoors. Long walks in the countryside, by the sea, or even sitting in a park gave me a deep sense of peace and clarity. Nature became a sanctuary, a place to reset and recharge. I discovered that being outside and breathing in fresh air brought me a natural high far more fulfilling than any drink ever could. I did a 5 hour forest bathing session, and was scared I’d be restless and desperate to get back indoors, but in fact it was powerful, and healing.
Insight 24: The Joy of Deep Sleep and Morning Routines
One of the unexpected gifts of sobriety has been rediscovering the joy of deep, restorative sleep. Alcohol used to rob me of quality rest, leaving me exhausted and sluggish. Now, my sleep is undisturbed, and I wake up feeling genuinely refreshed and ready to start the day. This newfound energy transformed my mornings—no more dragging my sorry ass through the early hours. Now I focus on mindfulness, exercise, and creativity. Mornings have become sacred, a time for self-care and setting positive intentions for the day ahead.
In the 2,400 days since I ditched the booze, I’ve learned that life without alcohol isn’t just possible—it’s extraordinary. Every step of the journey has been transformative, and the insights I’ve gained along the way have reshaped my life in ways I could never have imagined. Sobriety is about so much more than just quitting drinking—it’s about finding joy, meaning, and true connection with ourselves and others. These 24 insights are just the tip of the iceberg; There is much more to come!
Join us in The Sober Club for connection, accountability and support.
Janey Lee Grace offers 1-1 Coaching including holistic nutrition, mindset and family constellations. She also offers holistic sober coach training. Email janey at janeyleegrace.com
This post is an updated version of the 2000 days post.